The Other Side of Perfect


The need for acceptance is an essential human instinct.

Some people value it more than others do. We all want to fit in, to be accepted by society. In order to achieve that, we often present different versions of ourselves. They might depend on our social environment as well as the company we are in. We actually might have numerous versions of ourselves – for work, or at home, or even online. All twisted and modified in order to be accepted in that particular situation.

The question is, are we being accepted for who we truly are, or for what we choose to show.

Most of the cases we aren’t usually happy with simply being ourselves. We are always comparing, not really knowing those other people’s journey – meaning experience, their struggles, weaknesses, and strengths. In some ways, this is a good thing because it can push us to try harder and do more, but in other ways, it can have a destructive influence on us.

Why are we not happy with ourselves?

I think the answer might be the following – There are headlines, advertisements and even people telling us what we should be reading, watching, wearing and thinking. Internet and television are filled with should and should not’s.  Manipulative tactics are being used by corporations in order to influence us in ways we don’t seem to realize. No matter how much you ignore them, and how little you think they affect you, they do. Our culture supports certain standards most people cannot live up to the expensively dressed celebrities, million dollar houses and luxury vehicles. The worst part is probably that people relate that to happiness.

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” ― Jim Carrey

Perfectionism is designed for failure.

Even if we could win that game, it wouldn’t make us happy. We reference to lifestyles represented to us. We create a vision of ourselves living this idealized lifestyle. This leads to uncertainty. Each and every one of us is different and therefore our paths are different. We cannot be happy living someone else’s life.

Fight Club questions our obsessions, habits, it shows how humanity is manipulated and influenced.

The film takes us back to ourselves and to our existence. Nowadays we have no great war to fight no big depression. Our great war is a spiritual war, our great depression is our lives. There is the fundamental question what did men have to fight for? Fight Club presents the argument that men in today’s society have been reduced to a generation that does nothing with themselves, but watch others do things instead. I call this second-hand experience. Masculinity becomes a brand, a means to sell products to men. “Being a man” then becomes owning the right outfit or car instead of knowing who you are and what is your purpose.

Favorite quotes from the movie.

“You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
“You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple of years you’re satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you’ve got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you’re trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.” Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

I believe that beauty lies in the imperfection.

Things that are odd and imperfect are much more interesting. Simply because they are divergent. I say forget about perfectionism. It is time for us to evolve and expand. Let the pieces fall where they may.  By being your true, authentic self, you give the world something unique. Something that has never been here before.

Jim Carrey says  – “Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world, risk being seen in all of your glory.”

Personal practices

Because just as you I am on my journey, the journey of knowing/understanding myself. Remember not all that wander are lost.

  1. Practice everyday meditation and mindfulness.

Meditation requires a habitual process of training your mind to focus and give a direction of your thoughts. You can use it to increase awareness both for yourself and your surroundings. Meditation with a combination of yoga is a great way to reduce stress and develop concentration. Practicing those I develop other benefits such as the ability to create a positive mood and outlook, calmness, self-discipline, healthy sleep patterns and even increased pain tolerance.

The result – these practices allow me to learn how to be more present, more mindful, they allow me to dive into my unconsciousness in ways you may not otherwise be able.

  1. Keeping a journal.

I started more than a year ago. Journaling is communication with yourself it can also be a way to connect with your subconscious. While sleeping, our subconscious mind has been brewing, scheming, problem-solving, and learning. So when I wake up, the first thing I do is write everything on my mind, this gives me a burst of creative flow. My opinion is that is a great way to replace our usual waking up habit. Instead of checking up your phone or email or whatever.

The result – it gives you a feedback on your thoughts and actions at a certain period of time. Which lead to better understanding and connecting the dots.

  1. Working-out

I started my CrossFit journey a year and a half ago – the workouts are rough and highly intense, like a lot – Learning the WOD (workout of the day) before you start class can be discouraging, but after it’s over, you feel incredibly accomplished, strong, and like you could tackle anything else. It is being able to continue to push, while the brain is telling you to stop, another way to conquer the mind.

The result –  Challenging yourself both physically and mentally helps you overcome any challenge in life. Strong body, strong mind.

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