From a third person’s perspective, people could differentiate a lot. People have style, but it is different from man to woman, from kid to kid, from rapper to rapper, from China to Chile.
However, “style” omnipresent some people use the word to pinpoint only those who have strong boundaries for themselves. Style, for the most part, is earned by your behavior. You already have one, but people may not notice it. Or it is just them being oblivious?
Alright, let’s give it a definition. What is style?
[The following definitions is sourced from Merriam-Webster]
a: a distinctive manner of expression (as in writing or speech)
b: a distinctive manner or custom of behaving or conducting oneself
c: a particular manner or technique by which something is done, created, or performed
For me, style, beyond everything else is the way you choose to put your persona into motion. From the trivialities in our lives to the special moments under the lights. Everything you do is coming out you with a somewhat manner or two, and the thing that highlights you your persona, in turn, is called style.
Also style is the taste one has about things. It could be the style in a matter of fashion, clothes, but that is not what I am emphasizing here. Clothes are part of your whole persona. But your style is something that would shine without your favorite duds. The point is to see what you like.
Style is very personal, that’s why people are sensitive to comments about their style.
Style is your persona put in action.
People like people with the same style or people aspiring become like.
Although I already said the style is part of everybody, here is the truth. Your style you might have now is worth an observation. Are the things you are doing, wearing, reading, possessing, part of a subculture you adore and applause or these things are your personal choice?
It is tricky because either way those things forming your style are a personal choice.
The question is, are your decisions derived solely from your inner self or they are a product of much external influence?
But what “He doesn’t have style” really mean?
You might hear that comment for upcoming new singers, rappers, actors and other artistic fields of expression. The style is strongly correlated with self-expression. In fact, it is everything you express. But the lack of style, meaning other people’s opinions, suggest the lack of soul, the lack of integration and flow.
You may be clumsy and still have style if it appears goofy or silly. The key is to be normal without overreacting. Owning a style is to be confident in your actions, or at least to appear that way. But if you are dropping your glass every time from shyness and fear that takes it away from you. Just don’t blush, instead, laugh at yourself. I have been like this before.
The Paradox of Ownership
Our possessions form us. Much like the tools we built, in turn, built us. The things you own define you. That is always true, from the moment you purchase something. And by talking about it, wearing it, placing it on a visible place people see it. Then they start asking questions or making comments. Hence, peoples opinion about your new belongings is directly addressed towards your decision to get those things in the first place. In other words you, holistically.
Also, people may use, let’s say your car (for example) to identify you. This might be part of a group conversation with people you don’t seem to know much. “The guy with the Toyota Corolla is working with us today”.
Frankly, I read about that paradox of ownership in Felix Davis’s book “How to Get Rich”. It is a book that I am enjoying apart from the traditional self-help seems. He also says that metaphysically you don’t own things.
How can you name a mountain or sea or an island?
Here is where the paradox comes into play.
From one side, the things you own in turn own you. But from the other side, how can you even possess those things(anything)?
Personalities or often called masks are roles we choose to play in different contexts. From Latin mask means persona. Some of us, like actors, are better using them, the best of them even on command. But the truth is that I believe everybody has at least three or four masks. And your choice whom you gonna “play” in every moment is already predefined by the given context. However, that is most of the time, that choice maybe also conscious.
Let’s say you act in one way with your parents, showing a lot of understanding and appreciation, but avoiding to discuss controversial topics. On the contrary, you can speak whatever you want with your friends even allowing yourself to use a little bit slang. But God forbid if your boss hears you too.
To have many personalities and to use them appropriately means that you have great social skills. Some may even say you are a social chameleon. But you are still you, besides all those masks you choose to apply. It is something also Jim Carrey spoke about in this video.
From Philosophy to Action
Philosophy => Psychology => Thought => Action => Feedback
Your persona is the sum total of all your personalities you have. And that involves different the same process listed above. But your emotions, cognitions and behaviors are determined by your current persona(mask).
In an addition to that, a little note for suggestopedia (you can translate the Bulgarian version for more information). In all of us is inherit an early stage of personality split. Moreover, we can trigger and modify what personalities we possess through autosuggestion and other methods of Suggestopedia.
Welcome to reality!
You have the power to choose your own style and to highlight things you like and do the best. Keep in mind those things communicate your value system. Be aware of your context and surroundings, also whom you are speaking to. Thus presenting your desired personality.
A style is needed in our modern world.
If we all share and express more freely wouldn’t it be better to live in a more diverse world?