How to Create Your Own Social Norms?

What are social norms for us? And how to change them if we don't like them.

Modern society today is moving from old-fashioned traditional habits to more efficient high-tech massaging apps. Plus AI, VR, AG and much more plugins at our disposal to reshape our lifestyle.

But is that the future way of communication? Or there is a better way to approach somebody?

It is a hard question, at least you can try the following.

Model Your Personality

Some of us are more introverted and others are extroverted.

We all know that extroverts draw energy when having a conversation with people and conversely introverts gain energy in solitude. And that topic has become so mainstream, where society pushes us to be always socially active, aka extroverts. But here is what we might miss sometimes.

The truth is that we are both at the same time. But some of us are more of an extrovert than others and some of us are more introvert than others. Those are the two ends of the same spectrum. Those personal qualities are coming from the Myers-Brings model, but not so far the only criteria for a real vs online communication.

Meaning that you have the freedom of choice to reshape and rebuild your personality. However you might be biased, acknowledge it. Then select a role model and decode his behavior. But don’t mirror it. You can’t be the best copycat in the world, but you can be the best version of yourself. Add some spices coming from your preferences deep down.

social norms
Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

Reality Check

When we move from small cities to big metropolises we enter that new level of society.

Where we don’t have that many friends as we have used to in the small city. But there is no problem, dating businesses and modern technology are working together for us. They have created an online solution for those of us who justify themselves as “introverted”. It is easier to get online and message somebody without the need of going out. Even as an extrovert I am willing to do that more often. When was the last time you decided to go alone to meet new friends? Is that scary?

Here is the main reason why we stay so much indoors nowadays. Technology has changed a lot of our lifestyle. That is no secret for anybody. But the way it changed human communication is unbelievable.

We have erased so many social operations from the last century that some of us, haven’t even tried.

For example going to the library instead of looking something online, doing your laundry in some public place, buying magazines and newspapers. And a lot of other meetings like auctions and other social activities that nowadays are being held online, instead of in the real world.

Add more serendipity in your life. That’s how new stories happen.

Establish Some Boundaries

Push notifications are constantly poking in for attention.

social norms
Photo by Keegan Houser on Unsplash


They are seriously taking advantage of our space and time. Because being alone isn’t praised in society. I would say that is mandatory to have those moments for yourself. It makes us relax and detach from work and obligations. And reconnect with ourselves. That time is needed to establish your boundaries and to maintain the balance between adversity and peace. Otherwise, we are continually being called to join someone else’s event and neglect ourselves. Those boundaries are preserving our goals. That is the real power of being alone for a while. Also, it adds a possibility of randomness in your life. Think about how many interesting stories can happen if you decide to be free and outgoing for while.

Leaving technology for a while will make us far more outgoing.

Doesn’t matter if you are extroverted or introverted. When was the last time you didn’t have a laptop at home or a phone? Those moments also improve our attention spawn to recover and help our decision-making skills get better.

Modern society offers us an excellent opportunity to choose how to design our lifestyles. Being liberal, not traditional. But you have to disconnect from the mainstream first!

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