Living a life of expectancy is not living your life at the moment.
Talking about expectations and assumptions we should mark those as triggers for emotions. You thinking about something in the future is since this event you are anticipating has some influence over you. Thus creating positive and negative emotions assuming stuff.
But this is a game of chance much alike rolling dices.
Many of them turn out to be wrongly put and thus provoking things, in many cases other people to do things they wouldn’t. It is a bad impression to put expectations of other people, but also a way to set standards.
Where is The Line?
What is the difference between assumption and expectation?
Assumption means that a thing is accepted as true or as sure to happen without proof. And the expectation is a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. Putting both together only tells me that making assumptions is like expecting something that is uncertain. But expectations are like the same, only with a higher degree of belief that something is going to occur in a certain way. Plus you are raising your standards, in most cases, and expecting them to be met.
What about presumption?
That is a light form of expectation, I would say the lightest. Presumptions, unlike assumptions, are not raising a standard to the things you believe are going to happen. You are simply guessing and thing might be fun in some contexts, but very inappropriate in others. For example, meeting new people you could try to guess their astral sign. But on the flip side, it would be very unprofessional to guess when is the next supply delivery coming for your business.
Expect the not expected and never expect the expected
What would happen differently if you release those expectations?
That is an idealistic scenario worth taking a moment.
In it, you can create and play a different plot. That way you will see what is to be free from your ego or other criteria, set from outside. Because most of us have expectations about things and people that we feel entitled to. Thus believing that we have a right to do it. It is a weird thing.
Many different scenarios trigger our prejudice. It’s about context and a little content. If you know you need to apply for university soon. And you are finishing school that year. Your parents would perhaps expect that you relevantly take your SAT. In that example, you can see how we are biased to projections already made for us. It is not even your parent’s assumption. It is what a decent human being would expect from anybody in that context.
In some ways, holding expectations could be beneficial. It helps to raise the standard. A new level of performance. That way you get to analyze what you are doing.
What is your primary goal of setting assumptions?
Ask yourself this question to find what are your motives.
By making a common commitment you can also make a standard. Thus standards are meant to be expected and therefore met.
And assumptions are needed to a certain extent.
It is a way of creating a higher desire towards something. Because it is evident that if you have an assumption towards something you care about it. Moreover how that event would turn out and its results.
Bottom line assuming things is an evolutionary skill our ancestors had to escape upcoming dangers. Although it has served them well it is not healthy to apply compulsively.
Minimize expectations from others and events to not be disappointed later.
It is the same if you go on vacation somewhere. We all expect the best to happen to us. But that creates an attachment. Thinking positively is great, but are you attached to it. Sometimes the thing we have planned does not occur the way we wanted. Letting go in those moments is good for the nervous system and the soul.
Conversely, it is impossible to free yourself from any expectation at all. Hence, limit yourself those unhealthy ones, and refine the rest. Apply with grace and probe to get objective feedback. Daily work on your language is a fair start living a life with fewer guesses.
As always stay mindful.